September 12

Online Dating

Online dating has been around for a decade or so and everyone who peruses the internet has heard about it. Just about everyone who is single has either tried or contemplated trying an online dating service at some time or another. Some who have been willing to try online dating have experienced success, fallen in love and even gotten married to the person they met using an internet dating service. Yet, others have horror stories to tell about the person(s) they met online and/or later in person. Others become frustrated because they can’t seem to find the right person and give up Those who have had unfortunate experiences have nothing but content for online dating.

When you really stop to think about, online dating is really pretty much the same as any other form of meeting someone new. Whether you meet someone online or in a supermarket, you strike up a conversation, decide if the person is an intellectual fit, decide whether or not you’re attracted to him/or and then decide if you want to further the relationship based on the information you’ve seen and heard thus far. It doesn’t really matter how you meet new people because the simple fact of the matter is that you can have both good and bad experiences in any venue while seeking romance. Where you meet them is irrelevant.

The major difference online, is that all of the initial communication is done from the safety of your keyboard. By joining an online dating community you get the opportunity to shop for people. You browse photos, read profiles, communicate in forums, chat rooms, instant messages and send and receive e-mails. With online dating you are afforded a great deal of information gathering resources to help you determine who may be compatible for you. You can move at your own pace and initiate contact when you are ready. There is no pressure. If someone does attempt to pressure you, you have the option of “blocking” that person or reporting him/her to the webmaster.

Conversely, when you join a dating site and present yourself for others to view, you are in essence advertising yourself. You’re letting potential dates know that you are available and through your profile, you can set the criteria in which only those who closely qualify should contact you. You reserve the option to respond to or ignore inquires- however to show respect you should always at least tell the incompatible person that you are not interested.

The bottom line is that online dating is an excellent way to meet new people. Whether your intentions are to find romance, marriage, friendship, flirt or just chat you will find others who share similar interests. As with any other form of meeting and dating, there can be downsides. The following pointers will help you avoid troubled dates and help to enhance your online dating adventures.

LOOK YOUR BEST!

When you create your profile you should definitely submit your very best photo. If you are serious about meeting someone a photo is a must. You are 10 times more likely to be contacted if your profile shows your photo. Think about it. When you are searching for dates, you probably are more likely to ignore the profiles that don’t contain a photo. Photographs are first impressions. No different than meeting someone new in person, you instantly decide if you are attracted to them based on appearance. It’s just human nature. Avoid the temptation of submitting a photo that isn’t really you. One of the faults to online dating is that it is easy to hide behind a fake personal photo and misrepresent yourself. Doing so expresses dishonesty and insincerity.

It is important to be yourself when it comes to your photo. None of us can help the way we look. Don’t overly concern yourself with your appearance. We all have issues with some part of our body that we wish looked better. Don’t worry about the ones that place too much emphasis on physical appearance. You have to trust that there is someone out there that does find you attractive –and interesting– and does want to meet you.

Just remember that a photo is worth a thousand words. It’s important for online daters to have a visual image of the person that they are communicating with while deciding whether or not to meet in person. If you misrepresent yourself, chances are, the date is over before it even started.

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Creating a profile is your opportunity to tell those who would be interested in you just who you are and what you are and what you are looking for. Keep it fresh and upbeat. There’s also nothing wrong with updating your profile on a regular basis to tell others about recent events in your life. Utilize blogs and forums to keep potential dates informed of what’s on your mind. You will no doubt receive replies. Following up on those replies is an excellent way to communicate and form relationships.

The importance of a photo cannot be stressed enough, but does a photo really tell others who you are? Of course not. A photo submitted on a profile is usually a head and shoulders shot or some type of action photo — ‘walking along the beach’, ‘hanging out with your best friend’, etc.. Although those visual images are great, they do little to communicate your personality. The serious online dater is involved in his/her profile and spends a great deal of time expressing themselves in the vast features that most online sites offer.

Would you rather read a profile/blog that is mundane and standard or would you rather read about something that is real, maybe funny, maybe serious that you can relate to? Have a bad day? You’re probably not alone –post it in your blog. Something unusual or interesting happen recently? Many potential dates may have had similar experiences which can lead to great conversational topics. Break out of your shell! Don’t be afraid to let the real you come out.

BE CAREFUL WITH E-MAILS

E-mail is a great feature to use to communicate with potential partners but be careful not to spend too much time using e-mails. Don’t spend a long period of time sending e-mails back and forth. Within a few e-mails you should be able to obtain enough information about the other person as to whether or not you should take it to the next level and speak on the phone or even meet. Eliminating those who are not compatible with you quickly is the key to online dating and safety.

DISCUSS VALUES AND EXPECTATIONS

Early in your contact with a potential partner, you should make it a point to discuss several values that are important to you such as religion. Your values and expectations must be communicated clearly and as soon as possible. Expressing your values and expectations early will help to eliminate the potential for a bad incompatible, relationship. For example, if your intention is for a short term sexual relationship only, it is important that your date understands that. If your would be date were uncomfortable with those terms then you do best to move on and find a like-minded person. Failure to discuss values and expectations is a major reason why dates fail.

LISTEN

While communicating with people, listen carefully to what they say and how they say. Unfortunately, there are many people out there that will say and do whatever it takes to impress you. If that is the case, then you are not really getting to know the real them. Listen to the spoken word and if you are meeting in person, pay careful attention to body language. A person’s body language can tell you a great deal about them. You need to constantly evaluate what is said or written to protect yourself from being duped. The better the listener you are, the better you will be at identifying good dates and eliminating bad ones.

BE NICE

It’s hard to be in a good mood all the time and no one expects you to. However, you shouldn’t take it out on someone who is trying to contact you. Whether it’s an e-mail or something someone said to you in a chat room or forum, you should understand that everyone on the dating site is merely looking around and expressing themselves. In the case of e-mails for example, it only takes a couple of seconds to reply and say that you are not interested. You’ll gain more respect from the sender than if you just completely ignore and delete the e-mail. Being nice is contagious. If you convey politeness and consideration then you will receive the same. In turn, the person that you shed politeness towards will be more likely to be nice to the next person he or she comes in contact with.

WARNING SIGNS

To avoid unpleasant experiences with someone who has been less than honest with you, the following warning signs have been identified. Always apply the warning signs while dating to ensure that you are not wasting your time.

* If the word and references to “sex” is routinely used early during communication. If that is what you are looking for, then online dating has definitely worked for you. Else, you should probably not pursue that person, as most likely the person only is seeking a one-nighter.

* Watch out for those who only give out a cell phone number. That could be an indication that the person does not want you to call his/her home because he or she is already involved in a relationship. It could also simply mean that the person doesn’t own a landline. You’ll have to evaluate which one is probably true based on your interaction with the person.

* Someone who constantly talks about his or her divorce or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Don’t waste your time with this person. This person is still emotionally attached to a prior relationship. This person seeks to find someone else to fill a void in their life. This person needs to resolve his or her personal issues before they can become serious with someone else.

* Coming on too strong–Avoid those who are obviously overzealous. Those types of people include those who constantly send you e-mails and call your phone many times a day. It’s great to be eager but there is a fine line between eager and obsessive. Obsessive relationships are very unhealthy and usually fail.

* Avoid the serial dater. The serial dater is the person who seems much more interested in the concept of finding that special someone. The serial daters meets a lot of people and is constantly online searching for new people to date. The serial dater really isn’t interested in finding someone and getting on with a normal relationship. During your conversation with someone and they happen to confide in you that they’ve been dating online for 6 years (example), you should proceed with caution. Most likely the serial dater will become bored with you and move on.

USE YOUR COMMON SENSE

Using your common sense is your number one resource to protecting yourself and getting more out of your online dating experiences and any other form of dating for that matter. Be smart, cautious and trust your ‘gut’ instincts.

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September 11

Top 7 Romance Tips For Men

Women who are in relationships share one primary desire, they all want to be romanced. Many men are willing to give romance a shot. But, they may think that romance requires a lot of work. Well, you may be surprised to find that romance does not have to be complicated. Here are seven romance tips for men that are fairly easy to implement. Try these romance tips for men, and you can please your partner, while adding a bit of spice to your relationship.

“Online Dating”

Kiss her very slowly. There is something very sensual about kissing slowly. Take your time and give her a kiss that she will not soon forget. Tap her on her backside once in a while. This shows that you are still into her. It gives her a sense of security about her relationship with you, and lets her know that you care about her.

Play romantic music. This one will score you some serious points. But the music cannot be lame. If you have some decent tunes on hand, go ahead and use them. If not, you may need to buy a few good titles.

Surprise your partner. Romance should be spontaneous whenever possible. Unexpected romantic acts are essentially what make romance so special. Buy her favorite treat, and put it in her mouth before bed. Grab a small bouquet of flowers, and give them to her. Let her know that you were thinking about her. Buy a nice bottle of wine to share with your partner. You get the idea.

Offer your undivided attention, whenever she is talking to you about something important. Most women want their men to be good communicators, which includes being able to listen. So giving her your complete attention goes a long way. When she is talking to you, make your partner feel that there is no one else in your universe. Get close, look into her eyes, and listen intently to whatever she has to say. Do not drift in and out of the conversation. Focus your thoughts on her, stay there, and show that you are paying attention.

Take a shower or bubble bath together. You may not be into this type of thing. But water can add a sense of sensuality and romance. Take time to touch her body, and enjoy a nice, relaxing moment with your partner.

Order some takeout, or cook a nice dinner. Having a man take care of dinner is romantic, and usually appreciated. If you are feeling up to it, light a candle and put a few pillows on the living room floor to change the atmosphere.

There you have it. Try a few of these romance tips for men to spice up your relationship. Do not go overboard and try them all at once. Romance your partner once in a while, and she will love you for it.

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September 10

Romance Tips For Your Dream Girl

Guys! You are now dating that hot girl. How do you keep her? Love and dating advice made easy.

1: Start slow. The best way to keep a girl’s attention is to inform her that you want to go slow. Wait until the 4th date to have sex. Some dates should just be cuddle dates. Women are so used to men just wanting them for sex, that only cuddling is a great way of getting close and holding her interest. Not to mention raising her anticipation levels for the big event.

2: The perfect first kiss. A very light brush is better than a full on tongue kiss. First of all, it gets her curious and wanting more. Keep something back for later.

3: Compliment her. Most women are very insecure about the way they look. Women look at their imaginary physical flaws (butt too big, flabby thighs, whatever) and find it hard to believe that a man could find them sexually attractive. Constantly tell her how sexy you find her. If you can improve her self-esteem she will be much more uninhibited in bed.

4: Planning: It’s easy to get caught up in work and before you know it the day, or week, has passed. Use your organizer as a reminder to phone your girl unexpectedly. Girls love a quick call or text to say “hi, thinking of you”.

5: Public Dirty Talking. Whispering, explicitly, what you would like to do in a more private venue makes it more likely to happen. This is because sex talk in public is doubly arousing. The anticipation and naughtiness will have her all hot and bothered in no time.

6: Some ‘her’ time. Arrange for her to go to a beauty salon, spa, or hair place. Tell her you are going to dinner after. When you collect her, take her to a restaurant attached to a romantic hotel. She will be feeling fantastic after her beauty treatments and all of these romantic gestures will totally overwhelm her. A sure fire way for a little romance.

7: Fireplaces. All girls love romantic getaways involving fireplaces. Cozy cabins or rooms, big rugs on the floor, dim lighting, mulled wine or champagne and no sports on the television, all add to the romantic ambience. A great way to spend a winter’s day.

8: Cherish her completely. All women have a little secret something about themselves that they are proud of. This normally does not involve a body part. It might be her black sense of humour or her individuality. You need to find this, and love and appreciate this. This is when she will feel loved as a whole person and then you will have her sexually and emotionally. No idea what’s going on inside her head? Is there anything her father compliments her on that lights her up?

9: The necktie. This clothing item is the favourite of all women. Take it off and use your imagination.

10: Makeup sex. Anger while fighting drives up the testosterone in both of you. Increased testosterone means a stronger sex drive. If you haven’t been fighting, try a pillow fight or naked wrestling in the bed, to get things heated and breathless.

11: Gifts. All women love unexpected gifts. Show her you understand her by making it personal. Try for thoughtful and creative. The timing of the gifts appearance could be crucial in how the evening turns out.

12: Take her shopping. Buying a new outfit puts girls in the mood for romance. Having her guy with her in the mall makes her happy. Make sure that if you are going to go that you stay interested. Do not be half hearted and do not wander off and get lost. Apparently, in Victoria’s Secret lingerie stores there are love seats in the dressing rooms. Do you need any more incentive than this to go to the mall?

13:Kiss her more often. The most common complaint from women is that their guy does not kiss them enough. You should kiss your girl for more than 5 minutes while you are whipping off her clothes. Women like to be kissed through the whole encounter. Women love being kissed everywhere. Find her favourite places to be kissed and make sure you include them every time. Nuzzling, licking and soft nipping are usually appreciated as well. This sort of strategy will decrease the amount of headaches she will have.

14: Say it. The top 3 romantic things women love to hear from men are:
“I just love waking up with you.”
“I have brought you a little something”
“I can’t wait to see you”

15:Listen. To keep your romance alive you need to listen to her properly. Here is how:
Turn off the television. Yes, off, not just on mute.
Listen to her.
Repeat what she has said.
Tell her that it makes sense or clarify if you do not understand.
Turn television back on. Better yet, give her a cuddle.

16: Make a fantasy box. Both of you get to write down your own secret sexual fantasies. Fold them over and place in your fantasy box. When you want to spice it up, pull one out for inspiration.

17: Never buy carnations. Carnations are cheap. They come over as cheap and from the corner store. You will never impress her with these. They will never be seen as a romantic gift. Save your money for something else.

18: Make her breakfast in bed. If you can’t cook, a cup of coffee and something in the toaster is still a great romantic idea.

19: “Does my butt look big in this?” Never, ever hesitate. The only correct answer is “No.”
Follow this with a cuddle with your hands running appreciatively over her curves for a more genuine feeling response.

20: Be her friend. You have to concentrate on the friendship side of the relationship, not just the sexual side. The more you understand her thoughts, the more she will reward you.

To have a hot wild date needs a little romance. Dating and romance just need a little thought and planning. These romance tips will keep your dream girl coming back for more.

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September 9

Dating Advice Tips

Most dating advice tips apply to all dates but you only get one shot at a first impression. The first date is therefore incredibly important especially if you want to have a second date and an ongoing relationship! There are some things you may get away with in an established relationship that are absolutely not allowed on a first date. So the first of many dating advice tips is never, ever be late on a first date. It may sound obvious but it is important. Secongly arrange to meet somewhere she’ll be comfortable meeting you if she doesn’t know you well. Dress appropriately for whatever you’re doing without going over the top. Natural is the biggest key to success!

If you’re trying to get a first date with someone you really like or fancy and you’re not sure it’s reciprocated try to offer an irresistible date you know they’ll love. To do this you may need to get tickets for a big event and you may need to do some homework on their interests. If she’s important to you, it’s worth the effort.

If the first date went well follow up with a second date pretty soon. Gauge how the first date went if you’re sure she loved you to bits then there’s no harm phoning the next day, she’ll be thrilled, if you think she liked you but you’re not sure how much then wait a day and then call, it seems pretty natural, but don’t leave it any longer. If she was swept off her feet then almost anything you suggest will be well received, if you’re not certain then make sure you offer another irresistible date.

There are many things to consider when it comes to dating advice tips. There isn’t room here to list all the things you might do from eating out through theatre, music, sporting events and so on, therefore consider her interests and use your common sense. Hopefully you’ll find interests in common, if the date feels like hard work to you, you can be sure she isn’t totally comfortable either. When you have things in common and you’re both enjoying the event or the atmosphere and the conversation is flowing easily, then you’re winning.

On any date your behaviour is key, if you’re confident, natural and engaging, if you listen to her and if you entertain her she will fall for your charms.

What women want can be confusing, so here are some really great dating advice tips. Women want respect, but they also love confidence and being touched and ultimately they love sex too. Show respect in the way you talk to her and don’t go faster than she wants to, but don’t be afraid to touch her hand or arm if it feels natural to do so. As things progress you will want to touch and kiss more, treat her like a girlfriend from day one otherwise she may mistake your intentions, romance her and make her feel special, let her know that she is special to you without gushing or appearing needy. Take your time and enjoy every stage of the process, by the way that’s good advice in bed too!

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